“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Yesterday morning I was bouncing through the house with Violet on my hip, curlers up, flinging the windows open, and drinking in the cheerful aroma of a June breeze.
The birds were chirping. Beatles music was bopping through the background.
It was one of those moments when I try to pause
and take note of the happiness I feel.
Because those moments are my snapshots that carry me through the hardest parts of Stay at Home Mom life. They’re the little victories when I feel pure
- and vibrancy
all at once. And they don’t cost money or require special skills. They’re just an alignment of my favorite people and simple pleasures.
So back to my scene
of airing the house
with Beatles music wafting
from the kitchen…
(Or more specifically) their song:
“I Wanna Hold Your Hand.”
Such a cheerful one, no?!
Well, I was thinking.. I love how this song makes YOU as the listener feel like a focal point.
It makes you feel special. I mean,
if they had sung “I love when you hold MY hand,”
it would have conveyed a totally different mood.
The listener would have been wondering, who is this obnoxious girl who deins to hold a Beatles’ hand? She must be someone really rich. And thin. And have an electric grin that flashes teeny rays of inauthenticity…
*insert eye roll*
*insert realization that I’m no longer enjoying this Beatles music*
The Beatles were smarter than that.
Just flip it around to focus on the listener, “I wanna hold YOUR hand,” and
The Beatles created a song that made you feel worthy of celebrity hand-holding!
In fact, you’re the type of girl who anyone would be thrilled to be with!
And come to think of it, YOU wanna hold someone ELSE’S hand! You’re contagious-smiling! And suddenly you’re feeling two inches taller and bopping around the house like the glamorous SAHM that you are.
(At this point, you may be wondering if I’m actually Snow White living on Neptune. Which I assure you I’m not. I just get carried away about my happy moment victories.)
So to get back to my point.. All this got me thinking that I want to be the type of
who makes others feel special. Who makes other people AND MYSELF feel taken care of and cherished.
…Beatles-worthy kind of special.
And I have a role model for this in mind…
I grew up down the road from a sweet Southern Belle named Becky. She is my Mom’s close friend, and I always look forward to seeing her, because she makes me feel like I’m freakin’ delightful.
She is always saying things like:
“Oh I just love y’all more than you could know.”
“You are just so clever and talented.”
“Oh, I’m so happy to see y’all!”
These might seem like unremarkable comments to you. But when Becky says them, she MEANS it. She has this Mom-glow that hugs you real big, without even trying.
basically Becky is Snow White living on Neptune.
But I swear, she’s real!
And she makes the whole neighborhood feel like a million bucks.
And she’s one of my secret role models as a young Mom.
Because when I think of Becky,
I think of the way she makes me F E E L,
not who she is or what she does.
(Which may sound egotistical of me), but at the end of the day, that’s family. The people who bring out the best YOU.
I want to be a woman like that.
But here’s the catch…
it doesn’t seem to work out very well unless you cherish yourself, too.
I can say this because after giving birth to our daughter one year ago, I’ve had an exhausting year of personal growth and tears. Motherhood hasn’t come easily to me in a lot of ways. But deep down,
I love it and I’m proud of where I am today.
I’ve grown parallel to my sweet daughter (partially out of necessity and partly out of a maelstrom of hormones)
But things have gotten significantly better since I slowed down and started taking care of myself. REAL care of myself.
Not just zombie-walking through Target and treating myself to some new leggings.
I mean committing to rituals of self-care and confidently choosing SAHM life because it makes me happy.
And THAT (finally) is what I want to pursue through Swift and Bloom: Self-care for Creative Moms.
Because: I believe that when we view ourselves fondly, we gain greater capacity to nurture our loved ones.
And eventually, we will find room in our hearts to nurture people outside our family, too. …That seems to be the stage I’m approaching (*knock on wood*) and so I want to share some of the tips that I’ve gathered throughout my first year of Motherhood,
and learn from other Moms who have wisdom to impart.
Sooo, I’m gonna get real sappy here, and say:
“I wanna hold YOUR hand!
Let’s all care about Moms together!”
Until next time,